Excerpt from “Departure”

It’s little I know what’s in my heart,
What’s in my mind it’s little I know,
But there’s that in me must up and start,
And it’s little I care where my feet go.

I’m getting restless; I don’t know where I want to be, but I no longer want to be here. If I end up going to law school, I fear it will be for no better reason than to provide myself a change of scenery. I have always been largely indifferent to my own fortune; I’m not terribly concerned with how I fare, so it might seem odd that I would fear making such a decision. I am also a professed fan of whimsy and caprice, so an insistence on having good reasons would be entirely out of place for me. The problem is that I have compelling reasons not to go. Acting without reason is caprice, but I am beginning to think that acting contrary to reason is folly, or perhaps even perversion. I have not the energy to secure my happiness, but I still don’t want to indulge the perversity of spirit that would attempt to achieve my own destruction. Unfortunately, the old imp of the perverse is alluring in its mischief, and difficult to resist. I wonder…where might I find myself in September?

NP: Stars, What the Snowman Learned About Love