[img] Bob Sapp kicking ass [45 K]

[Photo courtesy sherdog.com]

Look carefully at the man on the left, because you will be seeing a lot more of him. His name is Bob Sapp, also known as “The Beast” [birth year 1974, silly]. He had short stints in the WCW and IWC after playing football for the Raiders and the Bears. Now Sapp is, quite simply, the biggest star in Japanese Mixed-Martial Arts Prize fighting—both physically and commercially. He is 6′5″ [or 6′3″, there are mixed reports] and 356 lbs. of solid muscle. He was on Leno the other day. On Friday he KOd Kimo at the Battle at the Bellagio. Mike Tyson was watching in the front row; when the match ended, Tyson jumped into the ring and Tyson and Sapp challenged each other to a match. Tyson wants to fight Sapp. Sapp wants to fight Tyson.

Why should you care? I dunno, maybe you shouldn’t. But I care. I went to junior high and high school with Bob Sapp (he was a year ahead of me). I just yesterday found out about his relative stardom. I knew he went NFL, but hadn’t heard much else until yesterday (thanks, Katie!).

When I was young, my friends and I used to sit around playing Mike Tyson’s Punch-Out on the old Nintendo, joking about how crazy you’d have to be to step into the ring with Iron Mike. Now, a guy I know might actually do just that. Insane!

But the real reason I care is not that I can claim some derivative accolades from knowing someone famous, but because Bob Sapp yearbooks are selling like hotcakes, and I have four of them. I’m guessing that the guy trying to sell his for $100,000 is bound for serious disappointment. But I’m not asking for $100,000. I’ll sell mine for a tenth of that.

Any takers?

Other people of note from my high school: the Fuzzy Carrot Nipples. Because dead chicks are great, and so is getting drunk.

NP: The Decemberists, A Cautionary Song