I had my first BK Veggie™ from Burger King tonight. I ate in the dark (in my car), so I can’t speak authoritatively about the constitution of the veggie patty, but if I were to venture a guess, I’d bet that mushrooms and olives are about the only visually identifiable ingredients. In that respect, as well as in flavor, it closely resembles the Subway Veggie Max™ sandwich. Subway, however, asks you the customer how you would like the sandwich to be prepared. At Burger King, the default prep mode for the BK Veggie™ involves a rather large glob of mayonnaise to glue the top bun to the onions and tomatoes resting ever-so-peacefully atop the veggie patty. Who puts mayonnaise on a veggie burger? Doesn’t that defeat half the purpose of eating a veggie burger? And isn’t mayonnaise the most disgusting product that’s been passed off on the public as food, anyway? Seriously. One might as well just chew on bacon fat. They’re practically indistinguishable, except that bacon fat tastes better…
All that aside, I’d like to thank Burger King—not for trying to reduce their environmental footprint of destruction, not for caring about animal welfare (or human welfare! the Whopper is second only to the Big Mac for the World’s Worst Food Crime award)—but for acknowledging my existence and the existence of the millions of others like me who don’t eat meat. I don’t know that I’ve ever seen a movie or TV show with an openly vegetarian character. I’m sure there have been some, but none comes to mind. SO I offer the very first JoAT.com Trivia Contest. The first person to email me with (verifiable) instances of both an American-made TV show and Hollywood movie in which a principal character was vegetarian will have a full day on JoAT.com devoted to their greatness. I’ll post praises, pictures, requests for money, etc. Think about it. And send your answers to Michael@jokeofalltrades.com. Good luck.
I’m feeling generous, so before I go to bed I will reveal to you the best source for old, used, rare and out-of-print books to be found on the ‘net: The Advanced Book Exchange. What a great service. I’ve ordered all sorts of books from around the world through the ABE; anytime I have found a book I wanted elsewhere (e.g., eBay, Amazon auctions), I’ve found it cheaper through ABE. You’re welcome. Good night.
NP: Alkaline Trio, Queen of Pain
